


Unloved

by Mostly_Angst_Whoops



Series: My tumblr stuff [6]
Category: Hamilton - Miranda
Genre: Fluff, M/M, Mutual Pining, back massages
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-08-17
Updated: 2017-08-17
Packaged: 2018-12-16 13:07:20
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 697
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11829369
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Mostly_Angst_Whoops/pseuds/Mostly_Angst_Whoops
Summary: John is out on a date





	Unloved

Alexander’s fingers flew across the keyboard, about nine pages into his newest essay, entitled “Reasons Why Thomas Jefferson is Trash.” He would be feeling better, but he was running out of ideas and the very last thing he wrote was something about how Thomas Jefferson loved tomatoes, and you’d have to be from the depths of hell to like tomatoes. His writing was turning into an incoherent mess, but he didn’t care.

He was on his bed, computer front of him, lying on his stomach as he clicked at the keyboard. He had been in that position for hours, not moving the entire time. His arms were beginning to ache, but he didn’t care. He needed to rant, get the frustration out of his system.

Jefferson had been an ass today. It had started like one of their usual arguments, Thomas claiming that the United States would be better off if they had given support to the french during the French Revolution, and Alexander explaining how that was a stupid idea. Like usual, it devolved into an insult match, and Jefferson had mentioned that nobody would ever love an unloyal bastard like Alexander.

Instead of the usual sadness that followed the statement, Alexander felt frustration. He didn’t care about what Jefferson thought about him anymore. It wasn’t that nobody would love him. It was that the one person who mattered wouldn’t love him. The one person he loved, the person who didn’t return the love. He felt childish, having a crush on his roommate. 

Alexander never did anything about it. John Laurens and Alexander Hamilton continued their days as they always did, smiles and warm hugs. If Alexander had been doodling their names together in the margins of his notebooks, John wouldn’t have to know. John would never know.

If that was the price he would have to pay to keep John by his side, that was okay.

Alexander pressed the enter key, beginning another paragraph on how Thomas Jefferson’s face reminded him of a pile of garbage. 

There was a creaking noise as the door opened and John walked in. Alexander’s eyes didn’t move from the computer screen, trying to ignore John as much as possible. Looking at what he couldn’t have would only make his problem that much more real. John had just been on a date, and he was wearing the suit that made Alexander’s stomach do somersaults. He wanted to be the one on that date, be the one sitting next to John, counting his freckles, in a fancy restaurant. His fingers began to stab the keys harder, frustration getting the better of him.

Alexander only stopped as he felt John sitting on his back. His fingers froze on the keyboard, and he turned to look at John. His breath paused for a second, watching John’s eyes flickering over his writing. A playful smile crossed John’s face, and he looked back at Alexander.

“Bad day today?” John asked.

“Yes,” Alexander said. John moved his arms to massage Alexander’s shoulders, and Alexander could feel his tension melting away.

“Jefferson?” Laurens asked.

_You have no idea._

“Jefferson.” Alexander said, sighing and relaxing into John’s grip.

John nodded, humming to himself.

“How’d the date go?” Alexander asked, as John continued to massage down his back.

“He was a good guy.”

“But?”

“Just don’t think it was meant to be,” John explained. 

Alexander smiled to himself, feeling guilty a few seconds later.

“I’m sorry.”

“Not your fault,” John assured, sighing. “I’m in love with someone else anyway, it wasn’t going to work out.”

“Who?” Alexander asked, a bit too quickly.

“He’s really smart and caring and brilliant, but he’s too good for me,” John said.

“Nobody could be too good for you,” Alexander said, letting out a sigh and feeling his heart drop. John loved someone else. Someone that wasn’t him. 

John noticed the slump almost immediately.

“Alexander, are you okay?”

“Nobody will ever love me,” Alexander said, voice small.

Alexander expected the reassurances, the usual soothing words from John. John was always able to calm him down. What he didn’t expect was John’s breath right by his ear, voice softer than a whisper.

“I love you.”


End file.
